Subject: Government (Page 43)

Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws War

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

(1946 – ) American actor, voice actor & comedian
Government Military

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
America Government Places Politics

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States; the only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.

(1903 – 1983) American radio and television broadcaster & entertainer
America Government Money Places Taxes

A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal as opposed to the conservative, who has both feet firmly planted in his mouth.

(1907 – ) French-born American historian of ideas & culture
Politics

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Law Things

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Democracy Government Politics

Democracy is like a tambourine – not everyone can be trusted with it.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Democracy Government

Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get re-elected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early retirement.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

I feel proud to be living in a country where people are not afraid to laugh at themselves and where political satire is tolerated by the government, if not the television network.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law Politics

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

You do the policy, I'll do the politics.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements Politics

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted “Bingo!” counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government Politicians

A lawyer is someone who writes a 40-page document and calls it a brief!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Law Lawyers

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Democracy Government Individuals President

My grandmother’s brain was dead, but her heart was still beating; it was the first time we ever had a Democrat in the family.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Government Politics

Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant – they’re quite clear –- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Beliefs God Government Misspokements Stupidity

The difference between a politician and a snail is that a snail leaves its slime behind.

Murphy’s Laws Politicians