Subject: Government (Page 44)

The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.

(1860 – 1917) Scottish politician & judge
Government Taxes

What I need is a lawyer who specializes in the law of the jungle.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Government Law Lawyers

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

Nixon is finding out there are no tails on an Eisenhower jacket.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Government Politics

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire; they're trained for that!

(1964 – ) English comedian
Animals Dogs Government Law

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

Nation’s Hungry Attack Meese

Government Headlines

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Government Time

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Law Things

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government

Political speeches are like steer horns: a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Government Politics Speech

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Nixon impeached himself; he gave us Gerald Ford as his revenge.

(1920 – 1998) lawyer, congresswoman, & women's movement activist
Government People

Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government Politicians

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Government Laughter People

You campaign in poetry, you govern in prose.

(1947 – ) U.S. Secretary of State, senator (New York) & first lady
Elections/Voting Government

In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, “the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.”

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Government