Subject: Government (Page 46)

When there’s a single thief, it's robbery; when there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.

Crime Government Taxes

If a traveller were informed that such a man was the leader of the House of Commons, he might begin to comprehend how the Egyptians worshipped an insect.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Government Insults

It says something about the Republican field that the new #1 candidate used to run the nation's #8 pizza chain.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

When I need a little advice about Saddam Hussein, I turn to country music.

(1924 – 2018) 41st U.S. president
Government Ideas Intelligence Music

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Justice is open to everyone in the same way as the Ritz Hotel.

(1740 – 1819) American lawyer, jurist & politician
Government Law

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.

Definitions Government

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains

Food/Drink Military Murphy’s Laws

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government

Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.

Definitions Taxes

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

(1895 – 1972) American director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation
Government Sex

We have a presidential election coming up, and I think the big problem, of course, is that someone will win.

(1953 – 2018) American comedian, political satirist & author
Elections/Voting Government

I don't care if she doesn't know how to cook – so long as she doesn't know a good lawyer.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Lawyers Marriage

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Government Law Lawyers

[It’s] hard to become a billionaire in public office… legally, anyway.

(1928 – 2019) American business magnate a&d financier
Government Money Politicians

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

(1883 – 1946) English economist
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Ideas Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist
Beliefs Conflict Law People