Subject: Government (Page 46)

I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus; on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Government Language Politics

Carter wants to go to Washington; he'll feel right at home there – he was raised on a nut farm.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government People Places

There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Odd objects attract fire… never lurk behind one.

Military Murphy’s Laws

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Situations Taxes

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

I was asked to name all the presidents… I thought they already had names.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Government President

Nothing is illegal if one hundred well-placed business men decide to do it.

(1932 – ) American politician, diplomat, activist & pastor
Government Law

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Taxes

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm; there's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Animals Government President

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Democracy Government Politics

I don't make jokes… I just watch the government and report the facts.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Entertainment Government

The taxpayer… that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the Civil Service examination.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious – I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Politics

People don’t let politicians kiss your babies; those lips have been on lobbyist asses for years now.

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Politicians

[Nixon staffer H.R.] Haldeman is the only man in America in this generation who let his hair grow for a courtroom appearance.

(1918 – 2004) journalist & columnist
Government

I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US. Congress.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Congress Government

Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work