Subject: Government (Page 47)

Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.

Definitions Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Definitions Government Politicians

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Government Marriage Wives

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Democracy Government

When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Congress Government

The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws Time

Democracy: A small hard core of common agreement, surrounded by a rich variety of individual difference.

Definitions Democracy Government

Don’t look conspicuous – in the combat, it draws fire; out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Government Money Taxes Work

Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest; if you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements

Hey folks, I’ll admit it — I didn’t vote; I didn’t like any of those bastards enough to risk jury duty.

comedian
Elections/Voting Government Law

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School

He may be a son of a bitch, but he’s our son of a bitch.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Government People

Nixon is finding out there are no tails on an Eisenhower jacket.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Government Politics

The waiters in France could all be senators in the U.S.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Government Places

Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Democracy Government

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Democracy Elections/Voting Government

If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Government Military

When you have women in that situation [the military] it just creates a whole new set of dynamics which are distracting to training these men to kill or be killed.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Government Military Misspokements People Women

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

Definitions Politicians Problems