Subject: Government (Page 48)

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Golf Government Politics President Sports

Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements… or, as the White House calls it, a press conference.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Crime Government Law

Politicians are like diapers; they both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

Foundation of a party signals the dissolution of the movement.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.

Democracy Government Taxes

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places

We have the greatest democracy in the world; of course, you don't have to win the election to become president, but don't nitpick this to death, alright?

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Democracy Elections/Voting Government President

Never trust a private with a loaded weapon, or an officer with a map and compass.

Military Murphy’s Laws

There are two reasons for making an appointment; either there was nobody else; or there was somebody else.

(1902 – 1967) British cabinet secretary
Government

Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get re-elected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early retirement.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians