Subject: Government (Page 7)

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist
Beliefs Conflict Law People

Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements… or, as the White House calls it, a press conference.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Crime Government Law

The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it."

Government Politics

You can't get rich in politics unless you are a crook.


Government Money Politics Wealth

To deceive a diplomat speak the truth, he has no experience with it.

Government Proverbs

No one ever carries too much ammo.

Military

We all know that Prime Ministers are wedded to the truth, but like other married couples they sometimes live apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Government

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

Diplomat: If you have the advantage over someone, and you lead him to think that he has the advantage over you, without giving him the chance to take advantage of you.

Definitions Government

This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government

I like how on cop cars, “To protect and serve” is in quotes, like they're being sarcastic.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Government

Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious – I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Politics

People don’t let politicians kiss your babies; those lips have been on lobbyist asses for years now.

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Politicians

Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest; if you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements

I wanted to join the Army… the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be'… they told me it wasn't enough.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Government Military

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

Definitions Government Politicians

I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour; I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Elections/Voting Government

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

I called my lawyer and said, ‘Can I ask you two questions?’ He said, ‘What’s the second question?

Government Lawyers Murphy’s Laws

For those eight years Clinton was the president, it was like we had that really cool substitute teacher.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Education Government President

As long as you are a tax deduction, you will always be safe in my house.

(1961 – ) American comedian, actor & talk show host
Government Taxes