Subject: Government (Page 9)

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Animals Arms Government Things

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

Queen: A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government People

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Age Friends People Places President

Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Fights Politics Time

Why do they call it a “hate” crime, if I like doing it?

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Government Law

Any military project will take twice as long as planned, cost twice as much, and produce only half of what is wanted.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Beneath this smooth stone by the bone of his bone – Sleeps Master John Gill; – By lies when alive this attorney did thrive, – And now that he's dead he lies still.

Epitaphs Lawyers Lies

Democracy is the counting of heads, regardless of the contents.

Democracy Elections/Voting Government

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

Turkeys, Manure Pass Through the Senate

Government Headlines

The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little while longer.

Military Murphy’s Laws

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Politicians

I feel proud to be living in a country where people are not afraid to laugh at themselves and where political satire is tolerated by the government, if not the television network.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law Politics

A conservative is someone who believes in reform… but not now.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

Let's turn inflation over to the post office; that’ll slow it down.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Government

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Politicians

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Politics Success

Hey folks, I’ll admit it — I didn’t vote; I didn’t like any of those bastards enough to risk jury duty.

comedian
Elections/Voting Government Law

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Government Military Money