Subject: Government (Page 9)

Often times people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government President

I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books Communication President

Government Tears Up Red Tape

Government Headlines

Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Democracy Government

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal as opposed to the conservative, who has both feet firmly planted in his mouth.

(1907 – ) French-born American historian of ideas & culture
Politics

A statesman is a successful politician who is dead.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Government Politicians

Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Government Law Lawyers Money Time

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

Turkeys, Manure Pass Through the Senate

Government Headlines

We still… cannot catch Osama bin Laden, but we nailed Martha Stewart's ass to the wall.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Failure Government Law People

When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay, but here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Health Money

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Democracy Government Politics

I don’t need a president with a bucket list!

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Government President

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.

(1912 – 2007) U.S. first lady, wife of Lyndon Johnson
Government Insults Politicians

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.

(1619 – 1683) French statesman
Government Taxes

Never murder a man who is committing suicide.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics Situations

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Fools Government Insults Intelligence

I love Barack Obama because when I go to Europe I don’t have to pretend to be Canadian any more.

(1967 – ) is an American comedian & actor
Characteristics Government President

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places