Subject: Government » Politicians

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common… they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Government Ideas Intelligence Politicians

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Intelligence Memory Politicians

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.

(1940 – ) U.S. senator (Vermont)
Beliefs Opinion Politicians

A statesman is a successful politician who is dead.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Government Politicians

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Government Politicians

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Ideas Murphy’s Laws Politicians

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Characteristics Government Politicians

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians

It takes nerve to be a Democrat, but it takes money to be a Republican.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

I’m not a politician and my other habits are good, also.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Characteristics Government Politicians

The effectiveness of a politician varies in inverse proportion to his commitment to principle.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Government People Places Politicians

The statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government Politicians

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Government Politicians Politics

The general rule is that a democratic politician had better not be right too soon.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Government Politicians

Politicians are the same all over; they promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.

(1894 – 1971) Soviet premier
Government Politicians

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government People Politicians