Subject: Government » Politicians

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Government Lawyers Politicians Situations

Politicians are the same all over; they promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.

(1894 – 1971) Soviet premier
Government Politicians

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

A politician is a man who approaches every question with an open mouth.

(1770 – 1827) British statesman, politician & prime minister
Communication Government Politicians Speech

A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Government Politicians

[It’s] hard to become a billionaire in public office… legally, anyway.

(1928 – 2019) American business magnate a&d financier
Government Money Politicians

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

A politician will do anything to keep his job—even become a patriot.

(1863 – 1951) American newspaper magnate & politician
Government Politicians

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Politicians

The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Beliefs Government Politicians

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

(1928 – 1995) American artist
Government Politicians

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Government Politicians Politics

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government People Politicians

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

The wind doesn't bother me… I'm in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Communication Government Politicians Speech

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Definitions Government Politicians

The difference between a politician and a snail is that a snail leaves its slime behind.

Murphy’s Laws Politicians