Subject: Government » Politicians

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Politicians

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Politicians Poverty

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Politicians Situations

These days, the only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Truth

If our politicians were better at pretending to get along, there wouldn’t be any war.

Conflict Government Politicians War

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

The politician is an acrobat; he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.

(1862 – 1923) French writer & politician
Communication Government Politicians

Short-term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission made up of at least three divergent interest groups.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

Statesman: A politician away from home.

Definitions Politicians

Remember… write to your congressman; even if he can’t read… write to him.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Intelligence Politicians Reading/Writing

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning Politicians

The difference between Democrats and Republicans?… Democrats remind us that life is unfair, and Republicans make sure it is.

American comedian & writer
Government Politicians

The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians

When no viable candidate exists, someone will nominate a Kennedy.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Definitions Government Politicians

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress
Characteristics Government People Politicians Women

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

The wind doesn't bother me… I'm in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Communication Government Politicians Speech

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President