Subject: Government » Politicians

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

Definitions Politicians Problems

When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Ideas Murphy’s Laws Politicians

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Government Lawyers Politicians Situations

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government People Politicians

Short-term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission made up of at least three divergent interest groups.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Government Ideas Intelligence Politicians

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Government Politicians Politics

Politicians who complain about the media are like ships’ captains who complain about the sea.

(1912 – 1998) British politician
Communication Government Politicians

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

The statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government Politicians

Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Government Intelligence Politicians

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work

These days, the only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Truth

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.

(1912 – 2007) U.S. first lady, wife of Lyndon Johnson
Government Insults Politicians

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Government Politicians

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Communication Intelligence Politicians

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Government Intelligence Politicians

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians