Subject: Government » Politicians (Page 3)

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

(1959 – ) U.S. Representative (South Carolina)
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Politicians are the same all over; they promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.

(1894 – 1971) Soviet premier
Government Politicians

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

Definitions Government Politicians

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Definitions Government Politicians

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Politicians

When I entered politics, I took the only downward turn you could take from journalism.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Politicians

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians Work

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Government Ideas Intelligence Politicians

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

According to reports, President Bush and John Kerry have combined $23 million left over from the 2004 presidential campaign, while Ralph Nader recently discovered some old gum in his hair.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Elections/Voting Politicians TV/Movie Quotes

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Politicians

You don’t listen to a guy who looks like the kid in ‘Deliverance’ all grown up.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Beliefs Government Opinion Politicians

A candidate could easily commit political suicide if he were to come up with an unconventional thought during a presidential tour.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Death Government Politicians

Politicians are people who get sworn in and cursed out!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Politicians

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician; and to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Government People Politicians Self

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Military Politicians

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President