Subject: Government » Politicians (Page 5)

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

(1928 – 1995) American artist
Government Politicians

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Politicians

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Politicians Poverty

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Definitions Government Politicians

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Definitions Government Politicians

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Government Politicians Politics

[It’s] hard to become a billionaire in public office… legally, anyway.

(1928 – 2019) American business magnate a&d financier
Government Money Politicians

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Characteristics Government Politicians

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Many of these guys on death row have done heinous things, but when we as a people sink to their level and execute them, then we’re no better than Republicans.

American comedian & writer
Death Government Politicians

A statesman is a successful politician who is dead.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Government Politicians

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Politicians

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

Definitions Government Politicians

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Government Politicians

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Definitions Government Politicians

The wind doesn't bother me… I'm in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Communication Government Politicians Speech

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted “Bingo!” counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government Politicians