Subject: Government » Politicians (Page 5)

Politicians are people who get sworn in and cursed out!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Politicians

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common… they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

When I entered politics, I took the only downward turn you could take from journalism.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Politicians

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Politicians

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Politicians

Science Confirms: Politicians Lie

Headlines Politicians

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Intelligence Memory Politicians

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Language Politicians

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time

Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.

(1901 – 1986) diplomat & economist
Government Politicians

The politician is an acrobat; he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.

(1862 – 1923) French writer & politician
Communication Government Politicians

Democrats Are Sexy. Who Ever Heard of Good Piece of Elephant.

Government Politicians Signs

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politicians

Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government Politicians

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Military Politicians

Politicians who complain about the media are like ships’ captains who complain about the sea.

(1912 – 1998) British politician
Communication Government Politicians

I’m not a politician and my other habits are good, also.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Characteristics Government Politicians

These days, the only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Truth

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

(1884 – 1933) American saloon keeper, actress & entrepreneur
Government Politicians