Subject: Government » Politicians (Page 5)

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Politics Truth

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation; among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Characteristics Government Honesty Lies Politicians

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

(c. 620 – 564 BC) Greek slave and author of over 600 fables
Conflict Government Politicians

Politicians are like diapers; they both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Politicians

Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government Politicians

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

Politicians are the same all over; they promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.

(1894 – 1971) Soviet premier
Government Politicians

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Ideas Murphy’s Laws Politicians

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Government Insults Politicians

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government Politicians

You don’t listen to a guy who looks like the kid in ‘Deliverance’ all grown up.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Beliefs Government Opinion Politicians

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians Work

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government People Politicians

The difference between Democrats and Republicans?… Democrats remind us that life is unfair, and Republicans make sure it is.

American comedian & writer
Government Politicians

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress
Characteristics Government People Politicians Women

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Definitions Government Politicians

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Language Politicians