Subject: Government » President

Often times people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government President

Dan Quayle deserves to be Vice President like Elvis deserved his black belt in karate.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Government Insults President

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm; there's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Animals Government President

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.

(1930 – ) actor, writer, film & television director
Communication Government Language President

I was asked to name all the presidents… I thought they already had names.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Government President

I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Intelligence President

Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be president, as long as your husband did it first.

American comedian
Government People President

For those eight years Clinton was the president, it was like we had that really cool substitute teacher.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Education Government President

I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books Communication President

I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Elections/Voting Government Intelligence President Stupidity

Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government President

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Golf Government Politics President Sports

Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.

(1947 – ) American author
Government Politics President

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Government President

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Law President

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
President Television

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Government President Sex Wives

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president… and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government President

Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

(1929 – ) journalist, author & television pundit
Government Politics President

It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics President

The pay is good and I can walk to work.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Government Occupations President Work