Subject: Government » Taxes (Page 2)

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian

Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam.

(1918 - 2002) American author

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

I think that after the third marriage Georgie tried to claim his divorce attorney as a dependent.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States; the only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.

(1903 – 1983) American radio and television broadcaster & entertainer

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

When there’s a single thief, it's robbery; when there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government… why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Only the little people pay taxes.

(1920 – 2007) American billionaire businesswoman & real estate investor

In levying taxes and in shearing sheep it is well to stop when you get down to the skin.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

[Charles Dickens] was the bravest man who ever lived; he fathered ten children before they became tax deductions.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist

No taxation without regimentation.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Remember the politician who wouldn't release his tax returns and it turned out he had nothing to hide? … Me neither.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker

Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you’re a corporation, you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you’re a moocher?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian