Subject: Government » Taxes (Page 2)

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Taxes Understanding World

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Government Taxes

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Dating Relationships Taxes Work

Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game; you want us to pay income taxes, too?

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Government Taxes

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Money Taxes

[Charles Dickens] was the bravest man who ever lived; he fathered ten children before they became tax deductions.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Family Money Taxes

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Taxes

No taxation without regimentation.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Government Malaprops Taxes

When there’s a single thief, it's robbery; when there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.

Crime Government Taxes

The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.

(1860 – 1917) Scottish politician & judge
Government Taxes

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

Today it takes more brains and effort to make out the income tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

Government Murphy’s Laws Taxes

I think that after the third marriage Georgie tried to claim his divorce attorney as a dependent.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Divorce Government Lawyers Marriage Taxes

Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.

Definitions Taxes

The wages of sin are unreported.

Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.

(1619 – 1683) French statesman
Government Taxes

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes