Subject: Headlines (Page 14)

Committee Votes to Investigate Itself

Snake Venom Slows Breast Tumor Growth

Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff

Childminders Get Right To Smack

Pope To Fly In Hellfire Helicopter

Tax Mooted For Flatulent Cows

Hitler Travelled For Years After Death

German Driver Beaten for Observing Speed Limit

Video Gets Kids Away From TV

Fried Chicken Cooked In Microwave Wins Trip

Sexting Incident Leads to Swim Chase in Lake

Passengers Hit By Cancelled Trains

Straw’s Pledge To Rape Victims

Large Celestial Object Stuns Astronomers

Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning

Living Saint Laid To Rest

City Wants Dead To Pay For Cleanup

Drive To Ban Horse Whipping Mushrooms

Woman Accused Of Giving Bears Ice Cream

Burritos at 6 a.m. Followed By Hot Air

Two Cars Were Reported Stolen By The Groveton Police Yesterday