Subject: Headlines (Page 16)

God Sends A Sign To The Heathen In The Chevy

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Bulge In Trousers Was Ecstasy

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Lizard Re-routes Queen's Plane

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Special Events Mark Domestic Violence Month

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Pigs Fly Flag For Farmers

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Drug Squad Nabs Flying Carpets

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Man Jumps off 2nd Street Bridge; Neither Jumper Nor Body Found

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Suit Says Hospital Mistook Constipation For Cancer

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Britain's Radioactive Lobsters Upset Norway

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Attack on Rat Mistaken For Chinese

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Risque Business: Misguided Skating Officials Are Cracking Down on Pelvis-Pumping and Lap-Dancing – As Though People Actually Want to Watch Olympians Skate

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Admits Shooting Husband From Stand, During Trial

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Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence

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Youth Found In Call Box With Fork

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Home Secretary To Act On Video Nasties

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Pavarotti Anticipating Eclipse

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Panther Mauled In Election For Mayor

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Heat Wave Claims Frostbite Victim

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Mayor Is Ousted By Mice

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Squirrel Sleuth Cracks Robbery

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Head of Anti-Violence Group Arrested for Hitting Referee

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