Subject: Headlines (Page 16)

God Sends A Sign To The Heathen In The Chevy

Bulge In Trousers Was Ecstasy

Lizard Re-routes Queen's Plane

Special Events Mark Domestic Violence Month

Pigs Fly Flag For Farmers

Drug Squad Nabs Flying Carpets

Man Jumps off 2nd Street Bridge; Neither Jumper Nor Body Found

Suit Says Hospital Mistook Constipation For Cancer

Britain's Radioactive Lobsters Upset Norway

Attack on Rat Mistaken For Chinese

Risque Business: Misguided Skating Officials Are Cracking Down on Pelvis-Pumping and Lap-Dancing – As Though People Actually Want to Watch Olympians Skate

Admits Shooting Husband From Stand, During Trial

Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence

Youth Found In Call Box With Fork

Home Secretary To Act On Video Nasties

Pavarotti Anticipating Eclipse

Panther Mauled In Election For Mayor

Heat Wave Claims Frostbite Victim

Mayor Is Ousted By Mice

Squirrel Sleuth Cracks Robbery

Head of Anti-Violence Group Arrested for Hitting Referee