Subject: Headlines (Page 17)

Duck Meat Pie Kills Three Colombian Nuns

Cow Thefts Blamed on Low-Carb Craze

Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung

Police Use Tase on Fake Cougar

Man In Rat Row Had Drunk 17 Pints Of Cider

Study: Depressed Women Live Longer

Judge Pounds PUD

Young Boys Wankdorf Erection Relief

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Lazy, Fat Dragons To Go On Crash Diet In Zoo

Ancient King To Watch Over Bike Network

The Best Ways to Lead Employees: Bad Management Practices

Stampede For Compost

Jury Suspects Foul Play In Death Of Man Shot, Burned & Buried In Shallow Grave

Latin Course To Be Cancelled – No Interest Among Students, Et Al.

Dutch to Extend Free Heroin Hand-Outs to Addicts

Crushed Kurds Give Way

Hay Not Pleased With Slumping PP

Bishops Agree Sex Abuse Rules

Black-Belt Prosecutor Leg-Locks Defendant

Royals Get Taste of Angels’ Colon