Subject: Headlines (Page 22)

Anna Nicole Smith’s Boobs Explode

Manhunt For Former Elf Boss

Women’s Chorus Adds Belcher to Membership

Mermaid Entertains Popular Hunchback

Lawmakers Disagree Over Why They Can’t Agree

Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy

Murdered Fiancés Present Petition To Number 10

Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder

Brain Dead Hero Pushed Friend Out Of Danger

For Valentine's Day, Try to Plan Your Spontaneity

Astronomers Say Comet Should Be Visible To The Naked Idaho

Small Town Celebrates "Toilet Fest"

Upset Bank Robber “I know what I did was wrong. I don’t need 10 years to figure that out," thief complains

Trout Being Tempted By Extra-Terrestrials

Virgins Are Discovered In Essex

Man Rams Into Taco Bell Over Missing Taco

Twinkies Shortage Looms

Doctor Execution Policy Debated

Baby Born Holding Mum’s I.U.D.

Chicken Banned From Crossing The Road

Dead Youth Had Serious Medical Condition