Subject: Headlines (Page 27)

Prostitute Stiffed By Client

Hotline To God Great Success

Lions Put On Dog Show

Greek Bars Close Early In Protest At Early Closure

New York Ban On Boxing After Death

Pirates Could Be Jailed

Party Ends After Woman is Murdered

Woman Beats Off Great White Shark

Deer With Big Rack Female, It Turns Out

This Sport is Stupid Anyway – USA Out of World Cup

Teen Girls Driving More Like Boys

If a headline ends in a question mark, the answer is “no.”

Staff Reported a Staff Member Found a Large Amount of White Powder Substance Around Her Chalkboard

Young Boys Wankdorf Erection Relief

Doctor Raps "Negligence"

Police Pay £20,000 For Dead Parrots

Florida Boys Coming to Laurel to Help Combat Literacy

Shark Dies Biting Man

New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead

Opossum Squashing Ignites Debate

Winner Dies in Russian 'Vodka Marathon,' Five Runners-up Hospitalized