Subject: Headlines (Page 4)

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Car Leaves Road, Suffers Broken Nose

Haddock Bids For NFU Leadership

Lesbian Cow Study Udderly Serious

4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves

Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed

Crash Courses for Private Pilots

This Sport is Stupid Anyway – USA Out of World Cup

Cash Reward To Be Offered Whenever a Cop Is Shot

Inmate Attempts Suicide, Moved Off Death Row

After Sex Sting, Associated Press Governor Tiwari Ejects Prematurely

Navy To Make Boats

Penguin Dung May Hold Key To Human Flu

Conceiving A Way To Get More Babies

Jupiter Out Of Orbit Over Resignation

Giant Snail Shuts Down Tassie Port

Big Rig Carrying Fruit Crashes on 210 Freeway, Creates Jam

Disney Stories Are Unfair On Mad People Says Doctor

Drunk Man Fell Asleep In Wrong NY House

Danish Pastor Who Refused to Believe in God Suspended

Devil May Postpone Release Of Calicivirus