Subject: Headlines (Page 51)

Bird Crime Up

Fiji Village to Apologize for Eating English Missionary

How Sardines Saved Stranded Potholers

Troops Set Assault on MILF Camp

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Report: Depression Causes Impotence

Son of Westboro Baptist Church leader attacked on live TV by naked 500lb man who burst out of bathroom, sat on him and shouted: ‘Who’s your daddy now?’

Life Goes On Year After Deaths

Train Driver Temporarily Blinded by Exploding Pigeon

Congressmen Try To Revive Suit

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Seven Foreigners, Seven Locals Up Each Other At Wotulu Memorial

Mandelson's Dog Is Reported Ready To Fly

Weird and Wacky Reigned Supreme in 2003

Pope To Fly In Hellfire Helicopter

Ghosts In $1M Fraud

Clinton Places Dickey In Gore’s Hands

New Tabloid "Owned By God"

Scott Wants Head Job

Iowa Moves Back to Pittsburgh

Birds Make Mess, City Steps In