Subject: Headlines (Page 57)

“The top half of the students are well-educated, the bottom half receive extra help, but the middle half we are leaving out.”

Education Headlines

Church Goes Missing

Headlines

Onion Prospects Reported Strong

Headlines

Explosion Of Professors At Universities

Headlines

Pilot Vows To Quit Flying After Landing On His Wife

Headlines

Lovesick Gardener Marries His Lettuce

Headlines

Cuts Could Hurt Animals

Headlines

Hospital Plans Hinge On Roads

Headlines

Squirrel Sleuth Cracks Robbery

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Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

Headlines

Impotent Must Say No To Sausages And Bacon

Headlines

British MPs to Drink Ethically Produced Coffee

Headlines

Teacher Dies; Board Accepts His Resignation

Headlines

Manure Mound Creates a Mess

Headlines

Bush Favors His Own Program

Headlines

Police Alert on Stolen Drugs

Headlines

Asbestos Suit Pressed

Headlines

Caribbean Islands Drift To Left

Headlines

Troops Set Assault on MILF Camp

Headlines

Right To Die Advocate Found Dead

Headlines

New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead

Headlines