Subject: Headlines (Page 83)

Maddened Cow Leads Farmers' Protest

William Kelly Was Fed Secretary

Alien In Sydney Pines For Port

Church Goes Missing

Police Target "Invisible" Cycle Riders

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

Christ's Plans Under Fire From Wandsworth

Navy To Make Boats

Whoopee? Oopsie! Honk If the Dealership Used Your Car for Sex

Shirtless Woman Joyrides in Stolen Police Cruiser

Wachtler Tells Graduates That Life in Jail is Demeaning

Diana Was Still Alive Hours Before She Died

School Bans All Kinds Of Nuts On Campus

Condom Firm Stretches Product Line

All Utah Condemned To Face Firing Squad

No Cause Of Death Determined For Beheading Victim

Oap Fined For Limping Too Slowly

Weird and Wacky Reigned Supreme in 2003

Putting Urine in Your Ears Not Recommended to Treat Sinus Infection

Martian Blamed For Lib Dem Election Losses

Rolling Stones Give Free Concert – No One Killed