Subject: Headlines (Page 83)

Marbles Tortured, Says Minister

Canadian Prime Minister Doesn't Think Bush Is 'a Moron'

Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 In '84

Disillusioned Angel Warns Of Too Much Pressure

Cash Reward To Be Offered Whenever a Cop Is Shot

Real Godmother Becomes Fairy Godmother

Dam Road Sign Keeps Disappearing

Man In Diaper Directs Traffic

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn’t Seen in Years

Gun-free zones kill people

All-stars Turn on Sparse Crowd

Phallus Museum Erected in Reykjavik

Wang Ousts 'Nutcracker' for Next Year

Police Alert on Stolen Drugs

Two One-Legged Inmates Skip Jail

Risque Business: Misguided Skating Officials Are Cracking Down on Pelvis-Pumping and Lap-Dancing – As Though People Actually Want to Watch Olympians Skate

U.S. Audit Finds Funds For Youth Misspent

Fitness Club Closes, Going Belly Up

Drug Abuse "Can Be Beaten By Joint Effort"

Under 15s Are All Stripped and Ready For Action

Substitute Teachers Seeking Respect