Subject: Headlines (Page 87)

Porn Star Sues Over Rear-end Collision

Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case

Clinton Stiff On Withdrawal

QE 2 Theft: Three Fined

Workers Down Tools at Viagra Factory Over Hard Helmets

Cow Attacks School Cook

Putting Urine in Your Ears Not Recommended to Treat Sinus Infection

Aliens On "Student" Visas Slip Under Net

18 Hurt In Cheese Roll

Waterskiing Accident Ruled Accidental

‘Naked’ Protesters Draw Attention on Big Beaver

House Republicans Are Split on Why They’re Divided

Britain Inches Grudgingly Towards Metric System

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

God Throws Dice Into Black Hole

Men In Black Fail To Attract Sponsors

Man Tells Police His Crack Dealer Ran Over Him

Giant Tea Bag Kept Families Up All Night!

C.I.A. Drafts Covert Plan to Topple Saddam

Under 15s Are All Stripped and Ready For Action

The robbery was committed by a pair of identical twins. Both are said to be aged about 20.