Subject: Headlines (Page 89)

Goliath Cleared Of Assaulting Piranha At Club

Psychic Ferrets Take Over Couple's World

Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation at High School

Salesman Says He Left 4 Large Rings in Malden Bathtub

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Flying Goats Spark Alarm

Ferries Must Stay Afloat In Worst Of Storms, Say Safety Engineers

All Utah Condemned To Face Firing Squad

Squirrels Eating Tokyo

Woman Skydiver on Trial in Belgium for Love-triangle Parachute Murder

Lisa Hall Wins Worst Hole Contest

Monkeys Control Robots With Their Minds

School Bans All Kinds Of Nuts On Campus

Lovesick Gardener Marries His Lettuce

Suspended MP Accused Of Telling A Hundred Lies

Postmen Taught How To Walk

Thief Steals US Flag From Man In Chicken Suit

Crook Joins Barclaycard UK

Elton Takes David Up the Aisle

Collapsed Bridge in China Faulty

No Cause Of Death Determined For Beheading Victim