Subject: Headlines (Page 9)

Minneapolis Will Pay $165,000 to Zombies

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Michelle Obama Wore Clothes to Light the Christmas Tree

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$200 Fine Risk For Mobile Car Use

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Study: Drinking, Fainting Connected

Food/Drink Headlines

Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut

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British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply

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Young Marines Make Tasty Christmas Treats

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Save Streams, Fish Head Warns

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Inmate Attempts Suicide, Moved Off Death Row

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Hungry Body Ate Fasting Buddhist Alive

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17 Aliens Held

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Masked Man On Horse Offered Drugs To Garda

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Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

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Henman Sees Balls As Key To His Success

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Cow Disarms Soldier, Another Kills Witch

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Marbles Tortured, Says Minister

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New Yorker Finds Roommate Dead, Second Time In A Year

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Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

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Man Used Stolen Tow Truck To Steal Vehicles, Cops Say

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Onion Prospects Reported Strong

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Massive Blow Jobs for Belmullet

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