Subject: Headlines (Page 91)

Denver Blender Vendor in Fender Bender

Headlines

Low Pay Reason For Poverty, Study Says

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Elf Condoms Stolen

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Report: Depression Causes Impotence

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Two Mexican Midget Wrestlers Killed by Fake Prostitutes

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Keegan Fills Schmeichel’s Gap With Seaman

England Headlines

Lovesick Gardener Marries His Lettuce

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Smaller Families Require Less Food

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Cops Demanding Bribes From Aliens

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Pregnant Girls Are Vulnerable To Weight Gain

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Stealth Fighter Crashes Into A Time Warp

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Fine Young Man Convicted of Misdemeanor

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Butter Said as Deadly as Cigarettes

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Prostitutes To Hold Open Day

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Mexican Leader Crashes To Earth

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East Tennessee Aglow Over Nuclear Jobs

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Chocolate Biscuit Bites Man In Midnight Snack Attack

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Some Phone Psychics Provide Useless, Erroneous Information

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Teacher Dies; Board Accepts His Resignation

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Sailor Clings To Buoy for Seventeen Hours

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This Sport is Stupid Anyway – USA Out of World Cup

Colemanballs Headlines