Subject: Headlines (Page 92)

Sick Skunks Overrun Massachusetts

Missing Teen Tied To Bones

Bishop Attacks Childless Couples

Send-A-Dame Chain Letters Deluge City; Interest Keen

Girl Kicked By Horse Upgraded to Stable

Denver Blender Vendor in Fender Bender

Man In Diaper Directs Traffic

Will High Gas Prices Cost Your Kids Their Educataion? [sic]

Postmen Taught How To Walk

Caribbean Bananas Are Ethical Bananas

TITS Bouncing Back In Warmer Weather

Scared of Y2K? Head for a Nuclear Reactor

Inmate Missing After Escaping Via Mail Slot

Lizard Re-routes Queen's Plane

Wildcat's Garbage Puzzles County Board

Sues Bride Of 4 Mouths

Horse Goes Back In Time For New Look

Rise Of 'Mutants' Leaves France A Divided Nation

Man Not Responsible for Global Warming

Cleveland’s Colon Has Emerged Smelling Like a Rose

Staff Reported a Staff Member Found a Large Amount of White Powder Substance Around Her Chalkboard