Subject: Headlines (Page 96)

Friends Trade Tattered Card for 49 Years

L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide

Toad Stuck In Share Hole Despite High-Profile Signing

Player Fined For Using Obscure Language To Umpire

Meat Head Fights Hike In Minimum Pay

Barefoot Prowler Nabbed After Leaving His Flip-Flops At Crime Scene

X-ray Confirms Snake Swallowed Dog

Men Get A Lesson On Kerb Crawling

Government's Attack On Greys Premature

Amnesia Costs Accountant 11 Years

The Correct Version Declares God Ambidextrous

Surgery For Duck Hurt By Anglers Left Hook

Infant Morality Shows Drop Here

Malaysian Transvestites Whack Religious Police with Handbags

Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff

Man Punches Fiancee After She Kisses Another Woman, Setting Off Backyard Brawl

Baker Stabbed Woman 99 Times In Self-Defense

Man Shot In Los Boliches

Deaf-mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

Wingnut Dept Ceiling Demands

Tony Blair Promises Parents The Right To Smack