Subject: Headlines (Page 97)

Mickey Mouse Found In Antarctic Ice

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Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

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Divorce Is Like A Lonely Gerbil

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Traffic Stop May Check Alien Status

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Frogs Satirize Racial Politics

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Woman Uses Breasts as Bird's Nest

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Boomerangs: They're making a comeback!

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Sheep Answers Monk's Prayer

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Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish

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Thieves Steal 8 Tons of Spa Mud

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‘Dead’ Woman Wins Pension Apology

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Irish Peat Bogs Rocked By Great Sheep Explosion

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With Perseids this week the sky is best place to find a meteor

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Dykes Impressed by Workouts

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Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

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New Yorker Finds Roommate Dead, Second Time In A Year

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Stock Market Succumbs to Reality

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The Sun Is Leading Cause Of Sunburns

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Slimy Leeches Are Devoted Parents

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Sorority Gets Wet; Frat Gets Hammered

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Hershey Bars Protest

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