Subject: Health » Doctors (Page 2)

I'm giving [my analyst] one more year… then I'm going to Lourdes.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Doctors Health

My doctor gave me two weeks to live… I hope they're in August.

comedian
Death Doctors Health

An apple every eight hours keeps three doctors away.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws

Orthodox: Bone doctors.

Definitions Doctors

Groinocologist

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

Never say “oops” while your patient is conscious.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws Problems

Four hundred bucks an hour for being sort of nice to sad people.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Doctors Health Money Occupations

… expensive care

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Doctor, feel my purse.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Doctors Health

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean “your guess is as good as mine.”

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Doctors Health

The biggest difference between the psychiatrist and the patient is that the psychiatrist has learned how to live with it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Doctors Health Life People

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.


Doctors Health Wordplay

What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn’t help me at all.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Doctors Family Health

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Most Doctors Agree Breathing Regularly is Good for You

Doctors Headlines Health

There are more old drunkards than old doctors.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Health

The longer I practice medicine the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don’t.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Clothing Doctors Health

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to the Folies Bergeres and looks at the audience.

(1913 – 1995) British Anglican Bishop
Doctors Health