Subject: Health » Doctors (Page 3)

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir.


(1608 – 1661) English churchman & historian
Doctors Health

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to the Folies Bergeres and looks at the audience.

(1913 – 1995) British Anglican Bishop
Doctors Health

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Doctors Health

The doctor demands his fees whether he has killed the illness or the patient.

Doctors Health Proverbs

There are only two sorts of doctors: those who practice with their brains, and those who practice with their tongues.

(1849 – 1919) Canadian physician
Doctors Health

I told my doctor, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills” and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Doctors Health

… expensive care

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

Hippocritical oath.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Doctors Government Health Law Lawyers

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Groinocologist

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, “Maybe life isn’t for everyone.”

(1940 – ) American basketball coach
Doctors Health Life

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

comedian
Doctors Health People Self

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Doctors Health

We may lay down a maxim, that when a nation abounds in physicians it grows thin of people.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws People

A man walked into the doctor’s; the doctor said, ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time.' … The man replied, ‘I know, I’ve been ill.'

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Doctors Health

I told my psychiatrist I keep thinking I’m ugly and he told me to lay on the couch… face down!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Doctors Health Ugly

Orthodox: Bone doctors.

Definitions Doctors

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Death Doctors Health Money

A psychiatrist is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Doctors Health

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of a job.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Death Doctors Health