Subject: Health » Doctors (Page 3)

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance; we'll see about that.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Doctors Health

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Doctors Health Money

A man walked into the doctor’s; he said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places.' … The doctor said, ‘well don’t go there any more.'

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Doctors Health

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Doctors Health Work

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look… twins!"

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Doctors

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Doctors Fools Intelligence

After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, “Maybe life isn’t for everyone.”

(1940 – ) American basketball coach
Doctors Health Life

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Doctors Health Old Things

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Beliefs Doctors God Health Money

Most Doctors Agree Breathing Regularly is Good for You

Doctors Headlines Health

I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Doctors Health

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places; he told me to quit going to those places.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Doctors Health Places

I got the bill for my surgery; now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Doctors Health

Optometrist: A person you have to see.

Definitions Doctors

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations

Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.

(1664 – 1721) English poet & diplomat
Death Doctors Health

An apple every eight hours keeps three doctors away.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Doctors Health

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Doctors Health

When I was a kid I used to play doctor with this little girl in my neighborhood and one time we got caught… luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing golf.

comedian
Doctors Occupations Work