Subject: Health » Doctors (Page 4)

There are more old drunkards than old doctors.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Health

My doctor gave me two weeks to live… I hope they're in August.

comedian
Death Doctors Health

I got a postcard from my gynecologist; It said, “Did you know it’s time for your annual check-up?” … no, but now my mailman does.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Doctors Health

Hippocritical oath.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

My shrink gives me 75 per cent off if I make believe I’m someone else.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Doctors Health

Groinocologist

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Doctors Government Health Law Lawyers

Optometrist: A person you have to see.

Definitions Doctors

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.

Alexander III (356 – 323 BC) King of Macedon
Death Doctors Health

I used to believe that chiropractors where charlatans, but then I went to one, and now I stand corrected.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Doctors Health

The operation was a success, but I’m afraid the doctor is dead.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Doctors Health

One finger in the throat and one in the rectum makes a good diagnostician.

(1849 – 1919) Canadian physician
Doctors Health

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Doctors Health Old Things

My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Doctors Exercise Health

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Doctors Golf Health Sports

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places; he told me to quit going to those places.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Doctors Health Places

Hospitals Resort To Hiring Doctors

Doctors Headlines

The doctor demands his fees whether he has killed the illness or the patient.

Doctors Health Proverbs

She got her good looks from her father, he’s a plastic surgeon.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Doctors Family Fathers Health

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease.

Doctors Health Proverbs