Subject: Health » Doctors (Page 4)

Hospitals Resort To Hiring Doctors

Most Doctors Agree Breathing Regularly is Good for You

Oh, they’ve broken my sacroiliac! Run to the nearest golf course and get a doctor!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Orthodox: Bone doctors.

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean “your guess is as good as mine.”

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I used to believe that chiropractors where charlatans, but then I went to one, and now I stand corrected.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else.

If a patient dies, the doctor killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old age.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

Pediatrician: Man of little patients.

The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

He’s a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

Doctor, feel my purse.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian

Hippocritical oath.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Somewhere in the world is… the world’s worst doctor… and he could be yours.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

Optometrist: A person you have to see.

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author