Subject: Health (Page 10)

Three things are bad for you: I can't remember the first two, but doughnuts are the third.

football coach
Food/Drink Football Health Sports

Serkin was so sick he almost died for three days.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Death Health Misspokements

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

comedian
Doctors Health People Self

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places; he told me to keep out of those places.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Doctors Health Places Situations

Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember

Headlines Health

Have you ever noticed nobody has ever ordered a grapefruit the size of a tumor? … ever… there’s no reciprocity.


Health Things

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Death Doctors Health Life Situations

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Health Life

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising… it was the only exercise I got.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Alcohol Exercise Food/Drink Health

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Doctors Health Situations

I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old age.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Doctors Emotions Health

Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Health People

As I get older I'm going to hear "You look great" a lot less than I'm going to hear "You look sick.”

American stand-up comedian
Age Appearance Health Old

My problem, uh, is behind me now.

(1953 – ) American baseball player
Health

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.


Doctors Health Wordplay

Dermatologist: Person who makes rash judgments.

Definitions Doctors Health

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Communication Health Language Reading/Writing

People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health Wordplay

She had a seashore disorder.

Health Malaprops

If you have one of these symptoms, please call this 800 number – Death, Heartburn, …

Classifieds Health