Subject: Health (Page 11)

If I were a medical man, I should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his work important.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Doctors Health Work

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Health Situations

Down Home Gynecology

Book Titles Health

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness… from all the free drinks.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Appearance Health

I thought AAA was an organization for people who are really bad alcoholics.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else.

Death Doctors Health

The most beautiful words in the English language are not “I love you,” but … “benign.”

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Health Speech

I think we should change the name of Type 1 Diabetes and Type 2 Diabetes to ‘Not Your Fault Diabetes’ and ‘Mostly Your Fault Diabetes.’

American comedian
Health

When I was a kid I used to play doctor with this little girl in my neighborhood and one time we got caught… luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing golf.

comedian
Doctors Occupations Work

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Doctors Health

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Health

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Food/Drink Health

I see cards that say ‘Get Well Soon’ … F**k that, get well now!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Health

Most Doctors Agree Breathing Regularly is Good for You

Doctors Headlines Health

He once had a unbiblical hernia.

Health Malaprops

A cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Health

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games Health

People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health Wordplay

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Health Life

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Health Misspokements Speech

… expensive care

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops