Subject: Health (Page 12)

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.

Health

Yankin’ out the tonsils and the adenoods.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

I quit because I was in the hospital and I realized that I truly believed that laughter was the best medicine, but it turns out penicillin works a hell of a lot better.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Emotions Health Laughter

Germs attack people where they're weakest – which is why there are so many head colds.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Intelligence

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

Health

Oh, they’ve broken my sacroiliac! Run to the nearest golf course and get a doctor!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Doctors Health TV/Movie Quotes

Most Doctors Agree Breathing Regularly is Good for You

Doctors Headlines Health

Health food makes me sick.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink Health

I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills… my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Health Situations Sleep

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there were three other people.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Doctors Eating Food/Drink

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Government Health

I think, in most cases, the difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Health

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

What am I drinking? … NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Health Success

“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years!” … and then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became ‘medicine’… and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Health

Every time a doctor whispers in the hospital, next day there’s a funeral.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Doctors Health

When you don’t have any money, the problem is food; when you have money, it’s sex; when you have both, it’s health.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Health Money Sex

Paradox: Two physicians.

Definitions Doctors Wordplay

I swam in the dead sea when it was only critically ill.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Activities Health Places