Subject: Health (Page 12)

The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job… especially if you’ve got hay fever

(1964 – ) English comedian
Health Occupations Work

Corona-rary bypass.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

Go to the gyropractor and get fixed?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

I got a postcard from my gynecologist; It said, “Did you know it’s time for your annual check-up?” … no, but now my mailman does.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Doctors Health

This weekend I pulled a muscle in my cheeks trying to smile.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

My cholesterol count has a comma.

(1964 – 2014) American actor, Broadway performer & stand-up comedian
Health Self

The most beautiful words in the English language are not “I love you,” but … “benign.”

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Health Speech

The closest thing I have to a nutritionist is the Carlsberg Beer Company.

(1976 – ) Irish actor
Beer Eating Food/Drink Health

Any dentist who says “This won’t hurt a bit” is lying through your teeth.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Health

The psychiatrist’s office is where you say what you think and be told what you mean.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Doctors Health

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health Wordplay

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee

And I’ll forgive the allergies.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Health

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children Clothing Family Health

I got a cousin who's a psychotic with low self-esteem; he only wants to assassinate the vice president.

television writer, producer & director
Characteristics Conflict Health Killing

It’s only the mercy of the Lord I ain’t had a stroke already – and a coronary trombonus in the bargain.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot… unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Health People

You're looking for a lump in a bag of lumps… that can take some time.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Health Men People

What’s Up Down There?: Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend

Book Titles Health