Subject: Health (Page 14)

My Dad’s allergic to cotton; he has pills he can take but he can’t get them out of the bottle.

comedian
Health

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Sex Situations

Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body Health

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Health Insults Situations

Dermatologist: Person who makes rash judgments.

Definitions Doctors Health

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

(1953 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Doctors Men

The best cure for hypochondria is to forget about your body and get interested in someone else's.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Appearance Body Health

I’m fairly certain that the only reason I was born crippled was because God knew I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to become a stripper.

American comedian
Health People Self

Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.

(1664 – 1721) English poet & diplomat
Death Doctors Health

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games Health

You don't get ulcers from what you eat; you get them from what's eating you.

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Eating Food/Drink Health Problems

I have kleptomania; but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Health

Down Home Gynecology

Book Titles Health

They said he had neurosis of the liver.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

As I get older I'm going to hear "You look great" a lot less than I'm going to hear "You look sick.”

American stand-up comedian
Age Appearance Health Old

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Doctors Health Problems

Doctor, feel my purse.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Doctors Health

Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Doctors Health

Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya, you'll give him a mental sterosis.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

The doctor demands his fees whether he has killed the illness or the patient.

Doctors Health Proverbs

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors