Subject: Health (Page 2)

I moved to New York for my health; I’m paranoid, and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.

Fear Health New York City Places

The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Doctors Health

I really don't like living there; I have to for health reasons; I'm very paranoid, and New York's the only place where my fears are justified.

American comedian
Health New York City Places

My dentist found a new way to cover up his bad breath… he holds up his arms

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Health

If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Health

Only have a nervous breakdown if you’ve got loads of money, and then you can really enjoy it.

(1955 – ) English composer, singer, songwriter & producer
Health Money Situations

I’d have to get better just to die.

Expressions Health

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Health Insults

I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Health Love Marriage Wives

The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else.

Death Doctors Health

He was recently diagnosed with prostrate cancer.

Health Malaprops

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

I was in analysis for years and nothing happened. My poor analyst got so frustrated, the guy finally put in a salad bar.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Health TV/Movie Quotes

Most Doctors Agree Breathing Regularly is Good for You

Doctors Headlines Health

I just hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I am tired of walking 5Ks.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities Health

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Doctors Health

1. All the IVs are at the other end of the hall.

2. There are two kinds of adhesive tape: the one that won't stay on and the one that won't come off.

Health Murphy’s Laws

If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be living.

comedian
Communication Death Health Language

My health is good; it’s my age that’s bad.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Age Health Old

If men could get pregnant,abortion would be a sacrament.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Health Men People

Neurotic means he is not as sensible as I am, and psychotic means he’s even worse than my brother-in-law.

(1893 – 1990) American psychiatrist
Health