Subject: Health (Page 6)

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

(1953 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Doctors Men

I have been laid up with intentional flu.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Health Misspokements

Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember

Headlines Health

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

Health Military Murphy’s Laws

If I ever had twins, I’d use one for parts.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Health

One of my baby teeth came out! I have to say, I’m not entirely comfortable holding a piece of my own head.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Health

Study: Ecstasy Causes Brain Damage

Drugs Headlines Health

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health

A man walked into the doctor’s; the doctor said, ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time.' … The man replied, ‘I know, I’ve been ill.'

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Doctors Health

If she gets a hot flash and walks into a cold room, she can make it rain.

American actor & comedian
Health People Women

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Food/Drink Health

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol Food/Drink Health Life

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow; he told me to wear a brown tie.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health

“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years!” … and then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became ‘medicine’… and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Health

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs Health

It’s only the mercy of the Lord I ain’t had a stroke already – and a coronary trombonus in the bargain.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

I'm the boy in the bubble without the bubble.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Health

Psychology: The care of the id by the odd.

Definitions Health Science/Weather

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary
Emotions Happiness Health Intelligence Memory

Corona-rary bypass.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

The psychiatrist’s office is where you say what you think and be told what you mean.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Doctors Health