Subject: Health (Page 7)

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Health

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.

(1932 – 2014) American singer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

Please excuse Timmy from school Friday. He has very loose vowels.

Health Malaprops

There are more old drunkards than old doctors.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Health

Oh, they’ve broken my sacroiliac! Run to the nearest golf course and get a doctor!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Doctors Health TV/Movie Quotes

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age Government Health Old

Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.

Definitions Health

It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Health Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

My health is good enough about the shoulders.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Health Intelligence

He’s a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Fools Health Intelligence

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease.

Doctors Health Proverbs

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Family Health Parents

Somebody once said that laughter is the best medicine, and that was clearly written by a man that never tried Vicodin.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Activities Drugs Emotions Health Laughter

Minor surgery is surgery that someone else is having.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Health

You know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work… medicine.

(1975 – ) Australian comedian, actor, writer, musician & director
Health

Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.

Definitions Doctors Health

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Doctors Health Work

No physician is really good before he has killed one or two patients.

Doctors Health Proverbs

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Health

As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax… you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients, " but another kept reminding me, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."

Animals Doctors Health