Subject: Health (Page 8)

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors School

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Health

She had a seashore disorder.

Health Malaprops

Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Health Money

I have the woman-flu, which is like the manflu but worse because I also regularly have periods and I get paid less.

Danish comedian
Health Men People Women

My dad is actually a manic depressive, which is very exciting half the time.

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Family Fathers Health

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Definitions Health Places

New Sick Policy Requires 2-day Notice

Headlines Health

You won’t be surprised that diseases are innumerable… count the cooks.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Food/Drink Health

There are only two sorts of doctors: those who practice with their brains, and those who practice with their tongues.

(1849 – 1919) Canadian physician
Doctors Health

Oh, they’ve broken my sacroiliac! Run to the nearest golf course and get a doctor!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Doctors Health TV/Movie Quotes

It’s only the mercy of the Lord I ain’t had a stroke already – and a coronary trombonus in the bargain.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

Vagina?… that sounds like something you call in sick with.

American comedian & television host
Communication Health Language

It never heals correctly.

Health Murphy’s Laws

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Doctors Government Health Law Lawyers

Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body Health

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Definitions Doctors Health

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health Occupations Work

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Health Life