Subject: Health (Page 9)

The operation was a success, but I’m afraid the doctor is dead.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Doctors Health

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

Characteristics Food/Drink Health

Chiropractor: A doctor who works his fingers to the bone… yours.

Definitions Doctors

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you’re not.

Doctors Lawyers Murphy’s Laws

Columnist Gets Urologist In Trouble With His Peers

Doctors Headlines

I moved to New York for my health; I’m paranoid, and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.

Fear Health New York City Places

He’s a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Fools Health Intelligence

One finger in the throat and one in the rectum makes a good diagnostician.

(1849 – 1919) Canadian physician
Doctors Health

I don’t want to say the wait was long, but the guy in front of me was being treated for a musket wound.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host
Health Time

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Doctors Health Problems

Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

Definitions Health

The rate of hospital admissions responds to bed availability; if we insist on installing more beds, they will tend to get filled.

Health Murphy’s Laws

They said he had neurosis of the liver.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

Health Military Murphy’s Laws

I have the woman-flu, which is like the manflu but worse because I also regularly have periods and I get paid less.

Danish comedian
Health Men People Women

Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? … because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

Health

Three things are bad for you: I can't remember the first two, but doughnuts are the third.

football coach
Food/Drink Football Health Sports

Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.

Definitions Health

We are the sort of people who make health insurance popular.

Canadian hockey goaltender
Health Hockey Sports

Diaphragm: A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Body Definitions Health