Subject: Hollywood Squares

Hollywood Squares:

The best lines from the television show "Hollywood Squares"

Peter Marshall: On radio, Margo Lane knew something about young, handsome, wealthy Lamont Cranston. In fact, she knew about Lamont Cranston, things that no one else knew. What was it?

Paul Lynde: That his bellybutton was an outsie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What is the definition of the word “Gobbledygook?”

George Gobel: That’s the stuff that crusts over in turkeys’ eyes when they’re asleep. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the United States, what do we call the number one followed by 12 zeros?

Paul Lynde: Dean Martin And The Golddiggers.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  True or false – drinking can make you hard of hearing.

Charley Weaver:  What?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the song classic, “Things aren’t always as bad as they seem if you…” Do what?

Paul Lynde: Put a bag over her head.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The Atlantic Ocean is the major body of water on Africa’s west coast. What major body lies off Africa’s east coast?

Paul Lynde: Ex-president Mobutu.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… if you have difficulty hitting the sack, a good idea is to talk yourself to sleep?

Rose Marie: Or Tom Snyder could do the same thing.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to French wine experts, was 1969 a good, or a bad year for wine?

George Gobel: Now this has got to be a trick question because there's never been a bad year for wine.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In television, who lived in Doodyville?

Paul Lynde: The Ty-De-Bowl Man.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A passenger.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Glen Campbell recently stated, “Love to me is something you…” Something you what?

Paul Lynde: Purchase.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What new motion picture has an ad campaign that states “He’s a lonely forgotten man desperate to prove that he’s alive?”

Marty Allen: Nixon Goes To China.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When is it a good idea to put your pantyhose in the microwave oven for two minutes?

Paul Lynde: When your house is surrounded by the police.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

Charley Weaver: His feet.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… George Jessel has a 9 year old daughter.

Paul Lynde: False. It’s his girlfriend

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can anything bring tears to a chimp's eyes?

>Paul Lynde: Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charley, an 87-year-old doctor named Quick invented something that’s named for him.  What is it?

Charley Weaver: 87 years old? I’d say the quickie!   

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie What’s The Matter With Helen? Who plays Helen?

Dennis Weaver: That’s why they asked the question.

(1924 – 2006) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  According to Shakespeare, what acquaints a man with strange bedfellows?

George Gobel:  The tall dude in the purple hat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to a recent survey by Futurist magazine, what was named as the most boring job on Earth?

Vincent Price: Rose Marie’s social secretary.

(1911 – 1993) American actor
Hollywood Squares