Subject: Hollywood Squares

Hollywood Squares:

The best lines from the television show "Hollywood Squares"

Peter Marshall: In William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Hamlet’s mother dies because she gets something that was meant for her famous son. What was it?

Roddy McDowall: A dozen roses and a box of candy

(1928 – 1998) British actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Snow White… was she a blonde or a brunette?

Paul Lynde: Only Walt Disney knows for sure…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, “At night, when you’re asleep, into your tent I’ll creep.” Who am I?

Paul Lynde: The scoutmaster!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the nursery rhyme “Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater had a wife and couldn’t keep her”. Where did he finally put her?

Steve Rossi: I think in a sanitarium.

(1928 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I love you?”

Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

(1911 – 1993) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Way back in 1256, a philosopher and monk named Roger Bacon took 41.2 percent salt peter, and 29.4 each of sulfur and carbon, and came up with the modern version of something… what?

Rose Marie: Army food.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The book of Proverbs in the Bible tells us that there is one thing that remains firm forever. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A topless Eskimo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

John Davidson: In folklore, what do you call the child of a fairy?

Joan Rivers: Adopted.  

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charley, an 87-year-old doctor named Quick invented something that’s named for him.  What is it?

Charley Weaver: 87 years old? I’d say the quickie!   

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… George, experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.

George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of ‘em.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In 1914, a new dance was introduced to America that became so controversial that it was barred from college campuses, and ministers preached against it as immoral.  We do it today though.  What dance was it?

Rose Marie: Why do you ask me a question about 1914?!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… there is a magazine called The Corsets & Underwear Revue?

George Gobel: I was reading that before Playboy came out.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what event are you most likely to be confronted by a dog leg?

Vincent Price: Oh, sleeping under a tree every time!

(1911 – 1993) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  True or false – as you get older, your skin becomes more transparent.

Charley Weaver:  Out at the home in the x-ray room, they just hold us up to a light bulb.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… your teeth are about the same size and shape as a pig's?

Paul Lynde: Look who's talking, Beaverface! 

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Dear Abby, it’s nature’s signal that something is wrong. What is it?

George Gobel: When your son starts waxing his legs.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A recent hearing, opponents of fluorinated water argue that too much fluorine in a persons system can cause an uncontrollable desire for sex?

Paul Lynde (shouting): HEY CULLIGAN MAN!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can Jewish boys get into Boys’ Town?

David Brenner: No, but we can own it.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the Mister Yuk sticker meant to be put on?

Paul Lynde: Oh, motel bedspreads

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The Great White is one of the most feared animals. What is the Great White?

Paul Lynde: A sheriff in Alabama.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the literary world, who kept saying ‘I think I can, I think I can?’

Charley Weaver: Well, out at the home, that was Mr. Ferguson. And Mrs. Ferguson kept saying '’ wish he would! I wish he would!’

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares