Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 11)

Peter Marshall: Alexander Graham Bell of telephone fame, spent 30 years of his life trying to get a female sheep to do something. To do what?

Marty Allen: Return his phone call.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Coronet, do most men feel uneasy around women with really large breasts?

Paul Lynde: Yes, they run for cover.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your date’s had a great shock, now she’s fainted. According to experts you should loosen her clothing, and do one other thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in Athens recently, they discovered sketches of the great philosopher Socrates, revealing that he bore a striking resemblance to Paul Newman?

Paul Lynde: But he walked like Joanne!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The great writer George Bernard Shaw once wrote, 'It's such a wonderful thing, what a crime to waste it on children.' What is it?

Paul Lynde: A whipping.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When Richard Nixon was Vice-President, he went someplace on a “good will mission,” but instead wound up being stoned and shouted at. Where did this take place?

Paul Lynde: Pat’s room.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Who never rises for the bride and groom?

Paul Lynde: Ironside.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Will humming help your tennis game?

Florence Henderson: Will humming help my tennis game? Sure, why not? It takes your mind off your balls, or something.

(1934 – 2016) American actress & singer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The book of Proverbs in the Bible tells us that there is one thing that remains firm forever. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A topless Eskimo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: From what animal do you get silk blouses?

Paul Lynde: An animal to you, Peter, but kind and generous to me.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What did James Watt invent after fooling around with his wife’s tea kettle?

Paul Lynde: James Watt Jr.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What can you tell about the Pope when he puts on his purple robe?

Tom Poston: He’s ready for his pipe and slippers!

(1921 – 2007) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  In a recent TV Guide interview, Paul Lynde said that he has been cursed with something all his life.  What?

Charley Weaver: Four letter words! 

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki. Why?

Paul Lynde: It was a long plane ride.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What is a good reason for pounding meat?

Paul Lynde: Loneliness!


(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: If you’re eating a convenience store hot dog, is it better for you if the weiner is smooth or if it’s wrinkled?

Raquel Welch: Well, I mostly know about smooth ones…

(1940 – ) American actress
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: To the people of Italy, what is “the poe?”

Paul Lynde: The opposite of “the rich.”

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… on a recent talk show, Joey Heatherton said, “I am not a sexpot.”

Jan Murray: She’s right, Pete, but you’re a damn good emcee.

(1916 - 2006) American stand-up comedian, actor & game show host
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to legend, who looks better, a pixie or a fairy?

Paul Lynde (in deeper voice): Well, looks aren’t everything!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul,Zsa Zsa Gabor says she never ever swims with her face in the water. Why?

Paul Lynde: It clogs the drain.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?

Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares