Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 12)

Peter Marshall: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? 

George Gobel: Hamburger

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What’s the one thing you should never do in bed?

Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul… during the time of the hula hoop, the yo-yo, and Davy Crockett hats, who was in the White House?

Paul Lynde: I’ll say the yo-yo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In 1914, a new dance was introduced to America that became so controversial that it was barred from college campuses, and ministers preached against it as immoral.  We do it today though.  What dance was it?

Rose Marie: Why do you ask me a question about 1914?!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Apartment Life magazine, can you tell anything significant about the personality of a person whose apartment has brown carpeting, brown furniture and brown walls?

Paul Lynde: Yes, their maid just exploded. 

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. What should people from California be prepared for?

Charley Weaver: The people from Florida and the people from the Midwest.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what Dickens classic, Paul, will you find the phrase “You may find us rough, sir, but you’ll find us ready?”

Paul Lynde: Little Women.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Playboy Magazine recently published a book by billionaire J. Paul Getty called, “How To …” How to what?

Paul Lynde: How To Treat Oily Skin.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… your teeth are about the same size and shape as a pig's?

Paul Lynde: Look who's talking, Beaverface! 

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In baseball, there’s a special name for the area between a player’s knees and his armpits.

Paul Lynde: Aren’t you glad? Aren’t you glad?! AREN’T YOU GLAD… he used Dial?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  In the movies, Frankenstein’s monster was always big and ugly.  And he had lots of scars.  What was his biggest fear? 

Paul Lynde: That the girls would be turned off by his big nuts!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The Pittsburgh Press calls it a combination of the Jitterbug, the Cha-cha, and the Mambo. What do you call it?

George Gobel: A short in my electric blanket.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?

Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Has a court ever awarded a woman half a million dollars because her husband was no longer able to leave her romantically satisfied?

Paul Lynde: All the jury had to see was Exhibit A.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do most dentists say you should do with your dentures when you go to bed?

Charlie Weaver: Out at the home, we throw them into the center of the room and have a swap party.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You are married in India. How did you probably meet your spouse?

Paul Lynde: We were fighting over a lima bean.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… there is absolutely no weather on the moon? 

Wally Cox: Well, there will be when we get there!

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, is it true that lightning once fused a man’s zipper shut?

Paul Lynde: Yes, it was God’s way telling him to slow down.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?

Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing strawberries!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares