Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 14)

Peter Marshall: True or false… pickles and martinis don’t taste as good to people with dentures?

George Gobel: Well, you can get along without dentures.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a Florida man was recently fined 75 cents to pay for the bullet police fired at him? 

George Gobel: Yeah, and they didn’t have change for a dollar, so they shot him two more times.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… the biggest problem couples face in marriage is having sex.

Rose Marie: No, that’s the second biggest problem.  The biggest problem is no sex. 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why are German measles called, German measles?

Mel Brooks: Because late at night, when you’re asleep, they march!

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The U.S. will soon reportedly share a secret with Japan. What is it?

Paul Lynde: The location of the Pacific Fleet.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Eva Gabor says she dislikes a particular word because it signals the end of something that started out so beautifully. What word?

Paul Lynde: Pregnant.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  In a recent TV Guide interview, Paul Lynde said that he has been cursed with something all his life.  What?

Charley Weaver: Four letter words! 

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Glen Campbell recently stated, “Love to me is something you…” Something you what?

Paul Lynde: Purchase.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?

Paul Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue’s a weirdo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Compton’s Encyclopedia, when Columbus returned from his famous trip, he brought Queen Isabella six naked savages, some animals, some plants, and something valuable. What was it?

Paul Lynde: I’ll say the six naked savages.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the Women’s International Bowling Congress, are there any women 80 years old who still bowl regularly?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but that’s all they do regularly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  According to Dear Abby, how long is the average honeymoon?

George Gobel:  Forty-seven minutes.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: As we grow older, do we use more profanity or less?

Jonathan Winters (as Maudie Frickett): Well, I don’t know, I was pretty foul when I was younger, but that was up in the attic.

(1925 – 2013) comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… according to the Bible, you are a sinner?

Paul Lynde: As long as they spelled my name right.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the Mister Yuk sticker meant to be put on?

Paul Lynde: Oh, motel bedspreads

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, what’s breaking up that old gang of mine?

Paul Lynde: Anita Byant!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?

Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing strawberries!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  What makes water hard?

Charley Weaver:  Winter.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What famous story begins with the discovery of magic beans?

Charley Weaver: Inherit the Wind.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re eating chicken, and you notice the bones are very dark.  What does that tell you about the chicken?

David Steinberg: At one time, the chicken had rhythm…

(1942 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, director & author
Hollywood Squares