Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 15)

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, can you get anything you’ve always wanted in Heaven, if you didn’t get it on Earth?

Charley Weaver: Yes, but there’s an extra charge for the whitewalls.  

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Broderick Crawford says that he is often mistaken for….

Paul Lynde: A dump truck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?

Paul Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue’s a weirdo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  According to Shakespeare, what acquaints a man with strange bedfellows?

George Gobel:  The tall dude in the purple hat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Paul, Gypsy folklore says that God created man by baking him in an oven.
Paul Lynde: [turns and looks at Black singer Leslie Uggams] Looks like you were overcooked.
[Leslie Uggams laughed so hard she was lying across the desk.]

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?

Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to research at USC, is it okay for your marriage to fantasize that your wife is Farrah Fawcett Majors?

Paul Lynde: If that doesn’t work, try Lee Majors!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The great Sphinx has a human’s head, but whose body?

Rose Marie: Milton Berle's.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Will a lightning rod work if it’s bent?

Dom Deluise: My lightning rod wouldn’t work… I’m going to have my doctor check my bent rod!

(1933 – 2009) actor, comedian, film director, chef & author
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The great writer George Bernard Shaw once wrote, 'It's such a wonderful thing, what a crime to waste it on children.' What is it?

Paul Lynde: A whipping.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, True or false… occasionally, a bull moose will hear the horn of diesel train and will run to it thinking that it is its lover?

Paul Lynde: And heaven help the conductor!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Good Housekeeping, how many years is the life expectancy of your lingerie?

Rose Marie: If you’re talking about wear and tear, mine will last forever. 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In 1976, who made headlines by saying “I can’t type! I can’t file! I can’t even answer the phone!?”

Harvey Korman: Richard Nixon.

(1927 – 2008) American comedic actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Flip Wilson has said that he’s eaten about 2,000 of them and enjoyed them immensely.  To what was he referring?

Paul Lynde: Missionaries

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In a very famous movie who said, “God, what a dump?”

Paul Lynde: Dumbo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Right after Trigger died, what did Roy Rogers announce he would do?

Paul Lynde: Dismount.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Johnny Carson’s ex-wife Joanne, after the divorce, he sent her a copy of a best-selling book. Which one?

Paul Lynde: Shaft!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can we get heat from stars?

Paul Lynde: You will if I have to share my dressing room again!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is it possible to drink too much water?

Paul Lynde: Yes, it’s called drowning!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to The Book of Fairies, who is that creature who stands 14 inches tall, is 400 years old, and is dressed all in Lincoln green?

Paul Lynde:  The Emperor Hirohito.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares