Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 17)

Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor recently stated, “It wasn’t easy.” And hubby Richard Burton added, “But we both sleep much better.” They were both talking about the same thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Separate bedrooms.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You get a headache right after romance. According to Dr. Thotusen, is there anything wrong with you?

Paul Lynde: No, but I need a softer headboard.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: One Frenchman in seven makes his living making something. Making what?

George Gobel: Making love to the lady tourists.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: Since the first woman entered this institution, 84 women have followed her. What institution is that?

Whoopi Goldberg: Marriage to Larry King.

(1955 – ) American comedian, actress, political activist & talk show host
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Eddie, according to the Institute of Motivational Research, a wife should beware if another woman takes an interest in a certain item of her husband’s clothing. What item?

Ed Asner: Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind.

(1929 – ) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  True or false – Lawrence Welk has a fourth grade education.

Charley Weaver:  That’s why he says, “And a one and a two…”

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the Bible, King Balshazar saw the handwriting on the wall, and later that night something unfortunate happened. What?

Joan Rivers: Yeah, well, he found out that Shirley’s number had been disconnected.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, when the citizens of China want a drink of water, they usually do something to it first. What?

Paul Lynde: Remove the shirts.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Queen Elizabeth generally swings her umbrella behind her back, and immediately, something happens. What?

Paul Lynde: Lord Snowden doubles up in pain.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Pride, anger, covetousness, lust, gluttony, envy, and sloth are collectively known as what?

Paul Lynde: The Bill of Rights.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… your teeth are about the same size and shape as a pig's?

Paul Lynde: Look who's talking, Beaverface! 

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Redd, of the stolen cars in this country, are many of them ever recovered?

Redd Foxx: Why sure, I had one recovered in zebra once.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Wally, a grapefruit is nothing like a grape.  How did it get its name?

Wally Cox: Oh, you noticed that too, huh?

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: We’ve all heard the old phrase “A pig in a poke.” What is a poke?

Paul Lynde: It’s when you’re not really in love.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Has a court ever awarded a woman half a million dollars because her husband was no longer able to leave her romantically satisfied?

Paul Lynde: All the jury had to see was Exhibit A.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, in the early days of Hollywood, who was usually found atop Tony, the Wonder Horse?

Paul Lynde: My Friend Flicka.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a Geisha House, now how did he spent his time in the Geisha House?

Paul Lynde: Oh, negotiating for “peace!”

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can you get 12 pounds of feathers out of a goose?

Paul Lynde: I got them in there, didn’t I?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You're on a yacht, and you're seasick.  According to Emily Post, should you tell your host?

Paul Lynde: No, let him find out for himself.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to The Book of Fairies, who is that creature who stands 14 inches tall, is 400 years old, and is dressed all in Lincoln green?

Paul Lynde:  The Emperor Hirohito.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can chewing gum help prevent a child from catching a cold?

Paul Lynde: No, but I know it’ll plug a runny nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares