Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 18)

Peter Marshall: Can chewing gum help prevent a child from catching a cold?

Paul Lynde: No, but I know it’ll plug a runny nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Paul, the Rio Grande River separates Texas and Mexico.  What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?

Paul Lynde:  El Washing Machine.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If a women becomes pregnant while employed, is she now entitled to six weeks maternity leave?

Paul Lynde: Only if the baby resembles the boss.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Bert Parks:  Is it true or false… that chickens who live near airports, lay more eggs, than chickens who live near railroads tracks?

Wally Cox (after audience laughter): I don’t see anything to laugh about!  (more laughter) I think it’s very obvious… Chicks who live near airports are more nervous than chicks who live near tracks. 

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Pat Boone recently admitted to Johnny Carson that milk upsets his stomach?

Joey Bishop: Pat Boone hasn’t admitted anything to anybody in the last 30 years.

(1918 – 2007) American entertainer, actor & television host
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’ve gone from egg, to larvae, to pupae. What’s next?

Paul Lynde: A shave and a shower and off to work!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Will humming help your tennis game?

Florence Henderson: Will humming help my tennis game? Sure, why not? It takes your mind off your balls, or something.

(1934 – 2016) American actress & singer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  According to Shakespeare, what acquaints a man with strange bedfellows?

George Gobel:  The tall dude in the purple hat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Don, True or false… there’s now a club in California that will allow you to sign up for obscene phone calls.
Rose Marie: Peter, get us that number!
Don Knotts:  Well…you found us out!

(1924 – 2006) American comedic actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to a recent survey by Futurist magazine, what was named as the most boring job on Earth?

Vincent Price: Rose Marie’s social secretary.

(1911 – 1993) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Teddy Roosevelt maintained that he had something removed from two United States coins purely for the sake of art. What?

Paul Lynde: The bottom half of the buffalo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is it normal for Norwegians to talk to trees?

Paul Lynde: As long as that’s as far as it goes.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Where would you be most likely to find climbing clematis?

Wally Cox: Right now, you’d be most likely to find him in jail.

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  True or false – Lawrence Welk has a fourth grade education.

Charley Weaver:  That’s why he says, “And a one and a two…”

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Eva Gabor says she dislikes a particular word because it signals the end of something that started out so beautifully. What word?

Paul Lynde: Pregnant.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Coronet, do most men feel uneasy around women with really large breasts?

Paul Lynde: Yes, they run for cover.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

John Davidson: A Russian man has just shown you his “balalaika.” What has he shown you?

Jim J. Bullock: Why he’s not so popular with the party girls.

(1955 – ) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Parade magazine, on what night of the week is a woman most likely to be molested?

Rose Marie: With my luck it’s tonight and I’m working.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul. If you have one it’s a moose. If you have two, it’s a….?

Paul Lynde: It’s a mess!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Traditionally, on Ground Hog Day, what is the ground hog looking for when he comes out of his hole?

George Gobel: Well, anything except a speeding lawn mower.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares