Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 19)

Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… drinking alcohol reduces the amount of male hormones in your body? 

George Gobel: You can’t scare me!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why are German measles called, German measles?

Mel Brooks: Because late at night, when you’re asleep, they march!

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In The Wizard Of Oz, the Tin Man wanted a heart, and the Lion wanted courage. What did the Straw Man want?

Paul Lynde: He wanted the Tin Man to notice him.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: This classic 1958 science fiction film is about a huge mass from outer space that stalks the earth and devours everything in its path. What’s the name of this film?

Gilbert Gottfried: The Marlon Brando Story.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: During the 18th century it was common for a bride to sell something at her wedding reception to help pay for the cost of the wedding. What did she sell?

Paul Lynde: Her first born.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the IRS, out of every 10 Americans audited, how many end up paying more taxes?

Paul Lynde: 11.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the movies, who gave the advice, “whistle while you work?”

Paul Lynde: It was either Paul Winchell… or Linda Lovelace.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: It’s well known that small amounts of female hormones are found in the male body. Are male hormones ever found in the female body?

Paul Lynde: Occasionally.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You have some lipstick on your collar. Will treating it with petroleum jelly help?

George Gobel: I'm gonna have a hard enough time explaining the lipstick!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron:  Peter, does the average CEO make more money in a year than the average worker?

Peter Marshall [as a contestant]:  Well, I would think they have to.  You know, bail.

(1926 – ) American television personality & game show host
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What?

Paul Lynde: An engagement ring.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, when the citizens of China want a drink of water, they usually do something to it first. What?

Paul Lynde: Remove the shirts.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to The People’s Almanac, what do they call it when one person is engaged in kissing, fondling, and caressing with another person?

George Gobel: In show  business, we call it an interview.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Guatemala once declared war on Germany.

Paul Lynde: Yes, and it's a good thing Germany never found out!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, in ancient Rome, bakers were required by law to bake something into each loaf of bread. What?

Paul Lynde: A Christian.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your rooster has been fixed so that he no longer has romantic interest in hens. What is the proper word for him now?

Paul Lynde: Suicidal.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What did Anita Bryant do for her talent competition in the Miss America contest?

George Gobel: Punch the hairdresser.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie What’s The Matter With Helen? Who plays Helen?

Dennis Weaver: That’s why they asked the question.

(1924 – 2006) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: The term SWAT originated in the Los Angeles Police Department. What does SWAT stand for?

Whoopi Goldberg: Some Whoop-Ass Tonight!

(1955 – ) American comedian, actress, political activist & talk show host
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You became a mother two months ago. And you’ve been feeling a bit depressed lately. According to Cosmopolitan magazine, is this normal?

Paul Lynde: I hate these stretch marks!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares