Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 19)

Peter Marshall: Besides a baton, what did Xavier Cugat always have in his hand when he lead his orchestra?

Paul Lynde: Arthritis.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… every day, about 10 million American women take the pill.

Paul Lynde: And I could name 'em all!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: He dangled from balloons in his first book in 1940 and this year in the Macy’s parade he dangled as a balloon. Who is he?

Brad Garrett: Louie Anderson.

(1960 – ) American actor, voice-actor & stand-up comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Would you be surprised to find some wood in your hot dog?

Paul Lynde: No, but I’d be surprised to find some meat.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?

Paul Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue’s a weirdo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a shipment of the Pill was recently recalled because they were actually sugar pills.

Paul Lynde: Does this mean all of the babies born in November will have pimples?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?

Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?

Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what do you call a group of germs?

Paul Lynde: A Panzer division.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Johnny Carson’s ex-wife Joanne, after the divorce, he sent her a copy of a best-selling book. Which one?

Paul Lynde: Shaft!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Paul…champagne glasses were designed to resemble Marie Antoinette’s bosom?

Paul Lynde: And we have Karen (Valentine) to thank for the shot glass!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: After Phyllis Diller’s recent facelift, she received thousands of letters, mostly asking three questions: “Did it hurt?” “How much did it cost?” And one other… what?

Paul Lynde: Do your eyes close when you sit down?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Don, True or false… there’s now a club in California that will allow you to sign up for obscene phone calls.
Rose Marie: Peter, get us that number!
Don Knotts:  Well…you found us out!

(1924 – 2006) American comedic actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Wally, True or false… your teeth are made primarily of ivory?

Wally Cox:  Yes.  First you take an elephant…

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher recently stated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them both.” Who or what was he referring to?

Paul Lynde: His fans.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the nursery rhyme, “There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.  She had so many children she didn’t know what to do.”  What did she give her children to eat?

Charley Weaver: She lived in a shoe?  Filet of sole!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the name of the small musical intrument shaped like a triangle?

Paul Lynde: Connie Stevens.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When is it a good idea to put your pantyhose in the microwave oven for two minutes?

Paul Lynde: When your house is surrounded by the police.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?

Redd Foxx: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the song classic, “Things aren’t always as bad as they seem if you…” Do what?

Paul Lynde: Put a bag over her head.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If a women becomes pregnant while employed, is she now entitled to six weeks maternity leave?

Paul Lynde: Only if the baby resembles the boss.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares