Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 19)

Peter Marshall: Something happened to Marlon Brando in 1955, and afterward he told friends he thought it would happen to Bing Crosby instead. What happened?

Paul Lynde: Oh, one of Bing's sons asked him for money.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what event are you most likely to be confronted by a dog leg?

Vincent Price: Oh, sleeping under a tree every time!

(1911 – 1993) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I love you?”

Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

(1911 – 1993) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, who was famous for saying, “On King, on huskies?”

Paul Lynde: Queen Mary.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, during a visit to the Moscow State Circus, Pat Nixon shook hands with something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: The bearded lady, Mrs. Kosygin.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, any good sailor knows that when a man falls off a ship you yell ‘Man overboard!’ What should you shout if a woman falls overboard?

Paul Lynde: Full speed ahead!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A soap opera in Australia called “Number 96” offers audiences something that no American soap opera has. What?

Paul Lynde: An unfaithful kangaroo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false, Dan Rowan hasn’t spoken to either his daughter or Peter Lawford since their marriage?

Paul Lynde: I don’t think anyone has seen them except for room service.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

John Davidson: What was Thomas Jefferson referring to when he said “You don’t need two when one will do.?”

Nancy Walker: Paper towels!

(1922 – 1992) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do most dentists say you should do with your dentures when you go to bed?

Charlie Weaver: Out at the home, we throw them into the center of the room and have a swap party.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won’t go up to your your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  In a recent TV Guide interview, Paul Lynde said that he has been cursed with something all his life.  What?

Charley Weaver: Four letter words! 

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… NASA officials report that when Chinese vice-premier Dang visited the astronaut training headquarters recently, the one big question he demanded to know was… where the astronauts go to the bathroom?!

Paul Lynde: The answer was over China!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In a famous fairy tale, a queen is bathing when a frog jumps out of the water and says, “Thy wish shall be fulfilled.” What was the queen’s wish?

Paul Lynde: She wanted the frog to talk dirty.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Wally, a grapefruit is nothing like a grape.  How did it get its name?

Wally Cox: Oh, you noticed that too, huh?

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If you surprised your wife with a gift of a roll of aluminum foil, what anniversary would you be celebrating?

Vincent Price (laughs): It would be my last! I’d be wrapped up in it and put in the deep freeze!

(1911 – 1993) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Lawrence Welk says that as a teenager, he promised his father he would work hard on their farm for four years, his Daddy would loan him the money to buy something few boys ever get. What?

Paul Lynde: A champagne lady.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Good Housekeeping, how many years is the life expectancy of your lingerie?

Rose Marie: If you’re talking about wear and tear, mine will last forever. 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The great writer George Bernard Shaw once wrote, 'It's such a wonderful thing, what a crime to waste it on children.' What is it?

Paul Lynde: A whipping.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what state was Abraham Lincoln born?

Paul Lynde: Naked and screaming like the rest of us.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Whose motto is “Do Your Best?”

Paul Lynde: I guess we can rule out Jimmy Carter…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares