Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 20)

Tom Bergeron:  Peter, does the average CEO make more money in a year than the average worker?

Peter Marshall [as a contestant]:  Well, I would think they have to.  You know, bail.

(1926 – ) American television personality & game show host
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?

Paul Lynde: Where can I get some?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What famous story begins with the discovery of magic beans?

Charley Weaver: Inherit the Wind.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The average child in China learns how to do it at age three. The average child in America never learns. What?

Paul Lynde: How to pull a rickshaw.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?

Redd Foxx: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Are there any nudist camps in Italy?

Paul Lynde: No, the flies would eat you alive.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In television, who lived in Doodyville?

Paul Lynde: The Ty-De-Bowl Man.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Good Housekeeping, how many years is the life expectancy of your lingerie?

Rose Marie: If you’re talking about wear and tear, mine will last forever. 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, true or false… studies show that women in their sixties have a more intense craving for physical romance than when they were in their forties…

Paul Lynde: Well, that's tough!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Do most women think a gambling casino is a good place to meet a man?

Wayland & puppet Madame: I’ll lay ya eight to five… or ten to midnight!

(1939 – 1988) American puppeteer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

Charley Weaver: His feet.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

John Davidson: What’s the worst thing to have around the house?

Rose Marie: Vacuum cleaners! 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is it okay to freeze mushrooms?

Rose Marie: What else do I have to do, Pete? 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, “At night, when you’re asleep, into your tent I’ll creep.” Who am I?

Paul Lynde: The scoutmaster!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

Charlie Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Was there anything going on between Christopher Columbus and Queen Isabella?

Charley Weaver:  Yes, and Columbus later found out that the world was round and she was flat!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What’s that thing to the east of Sweden?

Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re a 71-year-old man who has lost interest in sex. Does your doctor have anything to help you?

Charley Weaver: No, but his nurse does.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In one state, you can deduct $5 from a traffic ticket if you show the officer… what?

Paul Lynde: A ten dollar bill.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares