Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 20)

Peter Marshall: True or false… pickles and martinis don’t taste as good to people with dentures?

George Gobel: Well, you can get along without dentures.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?

Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what state was Abraham Lincoln born?

Paul Lynde: Naked and screaming like the rest of us.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You get a headache right after romance. According to Dr. Thotusen, is there anything wrong with you?

Paul Lynde: No, but I need a softer headboard.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… the biggest problem couples face in marriage is having sex.

Rose Marie: No, that’s the second biggest problem.  The biggest problem is no sex. 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The Atlantic Ocean is the major body of water on Africa’s west coast. What major body lies off Africa’s east coast?

Paul Lynde: Ex-president Mobutu.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Do most women think a gambling casino is a good place to meet a man?

Wayland & puppet Madame: I’ll lay ya eight to five… or ten to midnight!

(1939 – 1988) American puppeteer
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: How does a comet get its tail?

Peter Marshall [as a contestant]:  Oh, the same as everyone else I guess, a little cognac, a Barry White CD…

(1926 – ) American television personality & game show host
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Paul, where at any one time will you find one quarter of the earth's population?

Paul Lynde: Crossing the Rio Grande.  (He pronounced it "Gran-dee," with emphasis on the first syllable)

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Something happened to Marlon Brando in 1955, and afterward he told friends he thought it would happen to Bing Crosby instead. What happened?

Paul Lynde: Oh, one of Bing's sons asked him for money.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… many of our highways and railroads were built directly on the trails left by bison?

Paul Lynde: So that’s why the roads are so bumpy.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… NASA officials report that when Chinese vice-premier Dang visited the astronaut training headquarters recently, the one big question he demanded to know was… where the astronauts go to the bathroom?!

Paul Lynde: The answer was over China!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Guatemala once declared war on Germany.

Paul Lynde: Yes, and it's a good thing Germany never found out!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won’t go up to your your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What can you tell about the Pope when he puts on his purple robe?

Tom Poston: He’s ready for his pipe and slippers!

(1921 – 2007) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What is that small cute thing on Cher, just below her waist?

Burt Reynolds: Sonny Bono.

(1936 – 2018) American actor
Hollywood Squares

[the loud horn sounds to signify time running out] Peter Marshall: Let me explain what that means…

Big Bird: Don’t look at me!

Muppet
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?

Paul Lynde: I don’t know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Will a goose help warn you if there’s an intruder on your property?

Paul Lynde: There’s no better way!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, can you get anything you’ve always wanted in Heaven, if you didn’t get it on Earth?

Charley Weaver: Yes, but there’s an extra charge for the whitewalls.  

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the Mister Yuk sticker meant to be put on?

Paul Lynde: Oh, motel bedspreads

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares