Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 21)

Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?

Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in Sweden, a person can get an instant divorce?

Paul Lynde: Yes, from poisoned meatballs.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In Alice in Wonderland, who kept crying “I’m late, I’m late?”

Paul Lynde: Alice, and her mother is sick about it.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A soap opera in Australia called “Number 96” offers audiences something that no American soap opera has. What?

Paul Lynde: An unfaithful kangaroo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… there are more psychiatrists in Beverly Hills than plumbers.

Paul Lynde: When my toilet’s backed up, I don’t care who fixes it!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the French Chef, Julia Child, how much is a pinch?

Paul Lynde: Just enough to turn her on.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can traffic noises affect your sexual prowess?

Jim Backus: Yes, so you should pull over and park.

(1913 – 1989) American radio, television, film & voice actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. What should people from California be prepared for?

Charley Weaver: The people from Florida and the people from the Midwest.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, the state flag of Alabama is all white with one very distinctive feature. What is it?

Paul Lynde: Eye holes!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What should you do if your parakeet has a temperature of 112 degrees?

Paul Lynde: Baste him!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what Dickens classic, Paul, will you find the phrase “You may find us rough, sir, but you’ll find us ready?”

Paul Lynde: Little Women.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie What’s The Matter With Helen? Who plays Helen?

Dennis Weaver: That’s why they asked the question.

(1924 – 2006) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  In the movies, Frankenstein’s monster was always big and ugly.  And he had lots of scars.  What was his biggest fear? 

Paul Lynde: That the girls would be turned off by his big nuts!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Do most women think a gambling casino is a good place to meet a man?

Wayland & puppet Madame: I’ll lay ya eight to five… or ten to midnight!

(1939 – 1988) American puppeteer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the literary world, who kept saying 'I think I can, I think I can?’

Charley Weaver: Well, out at the home, that was Mr. Ferguson. And Mrs. Ferguson kept saying “I wish he would! I wish he would!”

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your sheep has a temperature of 102. Is she normal?

Burt Reynolds: People think I’m not normal because I keep taking her temperature.

(1936 – 2018) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Johnny Carson’s ex-wife Joanne, after the divorce, he sent her a copy of a best-selling book. Which one?

Paul Lynde: Shaft!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?

George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A passenger.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Coronet, do most men feel uneasy around women with really large breasts?

Paul Lynde: Yes, they run for cover.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: At the end of the movie The Planet of the Apes, what does Charlton Heston see that makes him realize that he is actually in New York City?

Paul Lynde: A Puerto Rican.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares